I’m Perfect, You’re Doomed: Tales from a Jehovah’s Witness Upbringing

Raised as a Jehovah''s Witness, Kyria Abrahams''s childhood was haunted by the knowledge that her neighbors and schoolmates were doomed to die in an imminent fiery catastrophe; that Smurfs were evil; that just about anything you could buy at a yard sale was infested by demons; and that Ouija boards--even if they were manufactured by Parker Brothers--were portals to hell. .

When Kyria turned eighteen, she found herself married to a man she didn''t love, with adultery her only way out. "Disfellowshipped" and exiled from the only world she''d ever known, Kyria realized that the only people who could save her were the very sinners she had prayed would be smitten by God''s wrath. Written with scorching wit and deep compassion, I''m Perfect, You''re Doomed manages to be hilarious about the ironic absurdity of growing up believing that nothing matters because everything''s about to be destroyed..

Kyria Abrahams was a regular columnist for Jest Magazine for several years, where she was featured alongside performers and writers from The Daily Show and Chappelle’s Show. As a standup comic, Comedy Central twice selected her as one of ten semi-finalists for the Boston Laugh Riots Competition. She has also been a repeat performer at alternative comedy shows like ＂Eating It＂ and ＂Invite them Up,＂ as well as literary readings like ＂How to Kick People＂--each of them places where the likes of Jon Stewart, Janeane Garafalo, Patton Oswalt, Fred Armisen, and David Cross have appeared. Raised in Providence, Rhode Island she now lives in Queens, New York.