Things We Didn’t Talk About When I Was a Girl: A Memoir

　　《時代》等全球出版商一致推崇　本年秋季最受期待的小說
　　珍妮‧瓦納斯科的真實經歷 　勇敢道出被性侵的煎熬過往

　　她總是在夜半驚醒，唸著他的名字。珍妮‧瓦納斯科從高中的時候開始，夜夜被這場惡夢叨擾，惡夢的主角都是同一個人，她高中最好的朋友馬克。

　　馬克是她高中最好的朋友。馬克強暴了她。

　　珍妮隱忍了十四年，但她的夢靨卻每況愈下。她試圖埋藏這段往事，傷口卻絲毫沒有癒合的跡象，為了從持續糾纏她的複雜情感──信任、背叛、羞恥──找回自己的生命主導權。於是，她作了一個極其勇敢的決定──與馬克碰面，掀開傷口，好讓它結痂，或許最後會留下疤痕，但至少不會再汨汨地滴血。

　　「這是我唯一能為你做的。」馬克答應了珍妮。

　　「一個這麼好的人，真的會去做這麼恐怖的事嗎？」珍妮仔細思索了她和馬克在事發前與事發後的關係，沉痛地提出這個問題。在與馬克的面談中，她試圖正視這件事情對自己的影響，也試圖釐清馬克的人生因此遭逢什麼樣的劇變。

　　除此之外，珍妮也探討了引發全球浪潮的#Me Too運動，生活中的言語性騷擾隨處可見，或許有的人覺得只是個無傷大雅的玩笑，卻在無形中打造了一個性騷擾友善的環境，久而久之，一再模糊的犯罪界線便很可能被打破，引發嚴重後果。

　　本書是一份回憶錄、犯罪記錄，也是女性間深深羈絆的證明──她的遭遇與闡述敦促我們思考更深刻的問題，反省我們懷有的偏見，破除人們對於「身為受害者」的狹隘理解。珍妮勇敢地面對性侵害事件，找到了解答，並在過程中，成為更堅強、更優雅面對生命的人。（文/博客來編譯）

　　"Such a confrontation is bold, unsettling and timely. (Vanasco) wanted to find out how a person who hurts others talks to himself about his actions. If we are ever going to reduce sexual violence, it’s a critically important question." —Laurie Halse Anderson in TIME

　　"It’s hard to overstate the importance of this gorgeous, harrowing, heartbreaking book . . . Vanasco is whip-smart and tender, open and ruthless; she is the perfect guide through the minefield of her trauma, and ours." —Carmen Maria Machado in Bustle

　　A Most Anticipated Book of Fall at Time, NYLON, Bustle, Pacific Standard, The Millions, Publishers Weekly, Chicago Tribune and more!

　　Jeannie Vanasco has had the same nightmare since she was a teenager. She startles awake, saying his name. It is always about him: one of her closest high school friends, a boy named Mark. A boy who raped her.

　　When her nightmares worsen, Jeannie decides—after fourteen years of silence—to reach out to Mark. He agrees to talk on the record and meet in person. "It's the least I can do," he says.

　　Jeannie details her friendship with Mark before and after the assault, asking the brave and urgent question: Is it possible for a good person to commit a terrible act? Jeannie interviews Mark, exploring how rape has impacted his life as well as her own. She examines the language surrounding sexual assault and pushes against its confines, contributing to and deepening the #MeToo discussion.

　　Exacting and courageous, Things We Didn't Talk About When I Was a Girl is part memoir, part true crime record, and part testament to the strength of female friendships—a recounting and reckoning that will inspire us to ask harder questions and interrogate our biases. Jeannie Vanasco examines and dismantles long-held myths of victimhood, discovering grace and power in this genre-bending investigation into the trauma of sexual violence.

　　Review

　　***PRAISE FOR THINGS WE DIDN'T TALK ABOUT WHEN I WAS A GIRL***

　　A Time magazine 'The 42 Most Anticipated Books of Fall 2019'
　　A Bustle 'The 20 Best New Books for Fall 2019'
　　A Bustle '10 New #MeToo Movement Books to Read in Fall 2019'
　　An Esquire 'Best Fall Books of 2019': 'Perhaps the most important book of the season.'
　　A Nylon '34 Books You'll Want to Read This Fall': 'Thought-provoking, unmooring and haunting.'
　　A Domino 'Best Fall Books of 2019': 'A compelling, nuanced look at trauma and survival.'
　　A NetGalley UK's Top Ten Books for October

　　“'Brave and compelling... Vanasco muddles through the silt of her thoughts to create a language for something we don't talk about.”─The Paris Review, staff pick

　　“A powerful memoir... a painful reminder of the ugly ways some men treat women, and Vanasco's nuanced story will resonate with those who've endured sexual inappropriateness in any form.”─Publishers Weekly

　　“Vanasco invites her readers to understand the complicated humanity involved in both causing and experiencing harm, leaving the limits and possibilities of accountability and healing as urgent, open questions. An extraordinarily brave work of self- and cultural reflection. (Starred Review)”- Kirkus Reviews

　　“Vanasco's second memoir sets the canon of #MeToo-era creative nonfiction on fire: she interviews her rapist. ... This is a slow-burning, reverberating meditation on the nuances of morality, masculinity, and punishment. ... Inimitable. (Starred Review)”- Booklist

　　“A gorgeous, harrowing, heartbreaking book. Vanasco is whip-smart and tender, open and ruthless.”─ Carmen Maria Machado, author of Her Body and Other Parties

　　“Vanasco has written exactly the book we need right now. I wish everyone would read it.”─ Melissa Febos, author of Abandon Me

　　“Bold, unsettling, and timely . . . critically important.”- Laurie Halse Anderson, TIME

　　“It’s hard to overstate the importance of this gorgeous, harrowing, heartbreaking book, which tackles sexual violence and its aftermath while also articulating the singular pain of knowing ― or loving, or caring for, or having a history with ― one’s rapist. Vanasco is whip-smart and tender, open and ruthless; she is the perfect guide through the minefield of her trauma, and ours.”- Carmen Maria Machado, Bustle

　　“Singular, gutting ... perhaps the most important book of the season.”- Esquire

　　“Vanasco gets at so many of the gray areas in our conversations about rape and the rehabilitation of its perpetrators. If some traumas don't fit into neat little narratives, then the pleasure of reading Vanasco is in knowing that messiness is OK, that there's no right way to handle such betrayals.”- Maris Kreizman, Pacific Standard

　　“Thought-provoking, unmooring, and haunting.”- NYLON

　　“Clearly this is an important and timely book. Even in a world that can seem brimming with stories similar to Vanasco’s, hers stands out . . . heartfelt, painful, and essential.”- Shelf Awareness

　　“Vanasco performs a literary feminist miracle for all women who have been denied basic rights, been suspect, been labeled, been unbelievable after their rapes and assaults, and shines our collective shame outwardly, to ask a man why a choice to abuse is made.”- Sophia Shalmiyev, author of MOTHER WINTER

作者簡介

Jeannie Vanasco

　　Jeannie Vanasco is the author of The Glass Eye: A Memoir (Tin House Books, 2017). Her work has appeared in The Believer, the New York Times Modern Love, Tin House, and elsewhere. She lives in Baltimore and is an assistant professor at Towson University.