Playing to Lose: How a Jehovah’s Witness Became a Submissive Bdsm Model

In this bold and intimate memoir Ariel Anderssen charts her journey from a strict religious upbringing as a Jehovah’s Witness to her current position as one of the most widely recognised BDSM performers in the world.

Her route between the two includes a period as a wretchedly miserable, teenage political activist, a phase touring with a Christian theatre group, and accidentally discovering a talent for posing for art nude photography. This surprising and unconventional career path led her to a life-altering introduction to BDSM-themed erotic artwork and a whole world she never imagined existing.

This is a book about BDSM, and about sexuality, but most of all it is about one woman’s struggle for self-acceptance and the rewards that come from confronting who you are with honesty and compassion.

TRIGGER WARNING: this book contains descriptions of sexual violence that some readers may find upsetting

Ariel Anderssen is a BDSM model with a lifetime’s interest in submission and masochism. The daughter of a nuclear physicist, Ariel was brought up as Jehovah’s Witness by her devoutly religious mother, and to a lesser extent by her father, who was busy with the Chernobyl nuclear reactor in the wake of the 1986 disaster.

She has a YouTube channel about ’How to be a Really, Really, Really Old Model’, and tweets daily about her kinky life. She lives in Wales with her husband. Her hobbies include dressmaking and collecting antique swords. Playing to Lose is her first book.