Waiting to Die Longing to Love

I got out of jail in north Alabama. It's my fifth Driving Under the Influence charge. My jail time is too short -- just two days. The fine is too low -- just ＄750.

The judge is lenient and my lawyer is skilled. He works out a plea deal so a conviction will never appear on my driving record.

This misadventure is merely the latest experience in a life not worth living. I am only one of 23-million people in the United States burdened with the deadly disease of addiction. That's roughly thirteen percent of the population.

I won't live long if I keep using, and I'm not sure I want to live even if I stop. I've seen others kick their habits, but at age forty-nine, I am overweight and unemployed -- a hopeless case.

I am waiting to die, but longing to live -- and love.

The story you are about to read tells how I finally got clean and sober from both drugs and alcohol. As you read each chapter, you will discover several things that may help you understand the mind of a drug addict. It's about healing and how I came to understand that the thing I needed to be saved from most is me.

So, come along with me now as I hold your hand and take you with me on my road to recovery. You will see addiction's true personality as I turn the spotlight on this monster. Hold on tight because it's going to be one hell of a roller coaster ride

Russell Lanier is an award-winning, university-educated television news producer. Russell was among the best in his profession garnering top ratings with nearly every show he wrote and produced during his twenty years on the frontlines of broadcast news.

Russell even created a sports feature that later won the reporter assigned to the seasonal project an Emmy Award. Along the way Russell also developed a journalistic savvy about writing crime stories that intrigued his colleagues -- he seemed to have an insider’s knowledge about street crime. But it was his secret, double-life that finally caught up with him and kept him from ascending the ladder to big-market success. While engaging in his passion of gathering the news, Russell became the news.

Russell Lanier is an alcoholic and a hard-core drug addict.

He uses the same hard-hitting news writing style in his book, ＂Waiting To Die, Longing To Love,＂ that won him top billing in his profession.

You will read how he finally finds victory when he comes face-to-face with his demon, addiction, in his sixth trip to rehab. He courageously tells the obscene truth about substance abuse.

His personal battle will inspire you to take action against the monsters you may feel controlling your life. It is Russell’s new mission to speak to young people about his experience as an addict and warn them of the perils of experimenting with drugs and alcohol.